51: Newport

Alright, this book makes the claim that Rhode Island (the setting of Family Guy) is the "fabled watering place of the Very Rich." Now of course, as a blogger, I'm not typically allowed to know what the "watering places" for the wealthy are at any given point. Not even the trendy, flash in the pan ones, let alone the fabled ones.
Do the rich read novels about being rich? Wouldn't they rather read about poor people as form of comedy? I'm so out of my element that I'm just going to let a couple of selections speak for themselves.

From the author biography page, "Edwin Gilbert divides his time between Europe, the sea coast of New England, and Bridgewater, Conn..." aww, that's just making me feel crappy about myself. let's try another.

This describes the beginning of a sex act between the two leads. "Presently, mysteriously, the barrier between what had been and what was, vanished with starling speed, like a mound of sand suddenly washed away by the rush of tide." Its like they gold dipped a Nobel literature winner and forced him, under musket (was fired at the Battle of Lexington) point, to narrate their couplings.

Aww, jeez this ain't for me guys. I gotta wipe my mind clean with some science fiction or whatever else low brow/for the poor sort of entertainment.

50: I Killed Adolf Hitler

For the fiftieth post, it might as well come back to Hitler...like always. So the conceit here is that this world is the same as ours except that instead of humans it's dogs. And time travel is possible. Just everything else is the same so you have no trouble just jumping into the narrative.

Now here's the saving part for a book that really doesn't need any saving...Hitler steals a time machine and goes into the future...to the present (within the books original timeline). He's still the famous Hitler (dog guy) so he can't expect to just walk around without attention. Kind distinctive looking guy (dog person). So simply cut the little whiskers off and change the hair. See...

Yeah, this really would seem to work. Not being ironic either (am required to point out the rare moments of gravitas). My brain is in no way capable of picturing Hitler without those touch points. I get those little sparklies, you know, from when your mind pushes itself too far.

You don't get those do you...crap it's the cancer isn't it. Yup, gonna end on a bad cancer joke.

49: Warman's Pez Field Guide

Somebody once told me that Ebay began as a service to connect Pez collectors. Or maybe I read it somewhere. Book or online, I'm not sure.

There's no origin to this factoid and I refuse to look it up now. Like most of the stuff I know, there's no way I could give an origin citation for at least 90 per cent of it. sure, I look at the nature of my life and I assume it was from a book--I love books. But I like a lot of things. Maybe it was a fact from the lid of some soft drink or on the back of some cereal box suggesting to add educational value in the stead of nutrition.

At this point, if I think about it, I'm a little afraid at just how much of those facts that comprise my knowledge are random errant bits of misinformation good intentioned or not. So I'll just have a cupcake instead. Lots of vitamins in those.