37: The Film Club

Here's an advance copy of a book apparently planning to be released in 2008...and from the future I tell you things! Okay...no more of that. So, I like the idea of messing with people's heads--those little expectations of how life and our surroundings are supposed to be. If I were to toss little variables into someone's way, how will they react?

So I took this unwanted, unread book that I was never going to read or allow anyone else to read (under normal circumstances)and tossed it on the sidewalk in front of my house with a little note saying that it was free, please take...and if the taker was so inclined that they should feel free to email me with their observations on the book itself or just the odd manner by which they found it. Within 10 minutes (while typing this very sentence I stopped to check) the book was gone.

36: The Road

Here's a quick review of the book only based on the cover and random unsourced and unverified information.

35: Baron Sinister

Hot pink lipstick woman clinging to a secret agent in the very moment of converting his gun to silent death mode...of course the best way to catch tail is to work directly for the President. Nowhere in any advice rag will any woman find the helpful hint to avoid men who have "foes," but they should. Just simple English, if this guy is his deadliest foe then somewhere else are less skilled foes all looking for ways to harm the obviously simpering womenfolk hugging the great spy's heels. Hmm, something about this cover makes me want to tell a woman what she wants for dinner.

34: The Pork-choppers (and that's exactly how it's printed on the cover)

The best part, and by best I mean outrageous since books are silly weird relics of the past lingering on in an increasingly tech world anyway, is the blurb above the cover.

"He was the president of a powerful labor union--but he could lose it all with one blast of an assassin's rifle!"

The kinda sorta supposition here is that only someone like a powerful labor boss *snort of laughter* faces real loss from bullets entering them. Can poor people lose what they do not have...with one blast of an assassin's rifle? Can the somewhat powerful vice-president of a labor organization lose from an assassin's rifle?

33: 1001 Home Hints

Why of course I expect some assortment of 1001 tips for around the home from this books, whoever would I not? Inside though, no numbering of tips...just chapters. There's not 1001 of those either. And there are only 494 pages of actual text inside so you're supposed to assume a a smidge over 2 tips per page? On the title page there IS a mention of over 1750 pictures. Leaving alone the fact that that this publisher decided to put that fact on the title page rather than on the back or any other normal advertising area, this leaves each picture as showing LESS than a tip each. That's just confusing.

Basically, Southwater Books here knew I needed a dollar. Instead of giving me a nice logical form of a dollar--like a bill--they threw a fistful of pennies at my face and promised me that there were 100 of them. "Oh feel free to count them when you get home," they said laughing. Why you laughing Southwater Books, either I'm amusing or you just ripped me off. Instead I laugh at you foolish print publisher in this millennium--I didn't pay for your book! It was given to me and I won't even appreciate or let anyone else do so either. Never gonna give it away or open it up again. Ha! Victory to me, Southwater Books!

32: Glister, Vol 1.

Now a haiku about this book.

This should be funny
but it's only a haiku
no room for details.

Damn, ran out of time...but I came off clever, right? That's all I need in my life right now--to not be perceived as clever.

31: Where She Went

Apparently Where She Went is the sequel to If I Stay which obviously she did not. I'm no more clever than that today.