Exploring the oddity of books spare moment by another spare moment...also, a lot of ellipses...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

26: The Cuddle Sutra

Aww, it's such a sweet book for cute couples in loving and close relationships. Let's see how dirty I can make it!

Step 1. Just give the titles of some sample maneuvers and allow a wink and imagination to do the rest. Yes, these are real "cuddle positions" according to the text. The Layer Cake, oh yeah. The Two Pillows, uh huh. The Tete a Tete, qui qui.

Step 2. The same thing, list some of the positions with a little detail of your own fiction but not something that gives a full image. You still gotta let the nasty out of your imagination. Lile the Pinky Play--gonna need some sanitizer. The Gleap--or as it is sometimes known, the Detroit Haberdasher (because of what you do with your head). The Tug O'love for when there's just not enough time for the full Pinky Play.

Step 3. Just go all out silly with just enough left to the imagination to draw a filthier picture than even I intended. The Cherry Popsicles. Well, one time I crossed over at Laredo into old Mexico and you think the real crazy stuff only happens in Tijuana...but you'd be real wrong. A five dollar transaction and I'm in the filthiest bar ever watching two chicks perform the Cherry Popsicle. I learned alot that day. How God must not exist. That that particular shade can be bodily made. That I could still cry at my age.

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